Looking back at 2017 in a nutshell, what the year has done for me? Good, Bad & the Ugly. But, i made it through. I am still alive, I conquered the year and I am not alone. If you are reading this, you have also conquered the year.
Give yourself a pat, and everyone around you. We made it through the tough year. We grow into better humans, we fell and we picked ourselves up. We fought and we fought hard.
I am thankful to be alive, to be still alive. To be loved and to love others. I am thankful. I am thankful for the mistakes that i have made, the bad things i have done. For without them, i wouldn’t learn. I wouldn’t be able to work on my mistakes, work on myself, work on being a better person to everyone (i am still working on it).
I got engaged in July, one of the happiest event in 2017. I lost my boyfriend and had a fiancé instead. I found my source of strength, home and love in one person- Mark.
I unofficially graduated done with university in August, I got my first job in August and quit after 10 days. That month was rough, it was really bad.
I found myself another job in September (my current job actually) which pays me lesser but I like the environment and I found it, without help from family (which matters to me). And of course, i am definitely in tune with this job than the previous one (it was a good job but i wasn’t suited to it).
And of course there’s many hiccups, plenty of downtimes happening to me, to my loved ones. It’s the bad stuff that allows the good stuff to happen and make us appreciate the good moments. And as for my anxiety, it’s never going away.
I have accepted the fact that it is a huge weakness of mine but while i am still working to make it as my strength, I am doing my best to make sure it doesn’t get worse.Now that it’s day 2 of 2018, it’s gonna be another rollercoaster ride of shit and farting rainbow.
I am still learning to value my life more, to love others better and to keep praying that my darkness could go away bit by bit everyday so I could be a better version of myself and that the past me will be proud of what i have achieved, even if it’s in baby steps.