in my own purgatory

29 more days to the first paper, the next 31 days
will be filled with a lot, a lot of stress, anxiety, worry
& all. And not to mention,the annihilation of brain cells.

i am starting to have dreams about exams,results,
all the negativity follow me to sleep territory
like my shadow, enveloping me in its arms.

my very own hell’s nightmare. It’s tricky, but i am 
keeping my emotions in check regularly, hoping those
mental
breakdowns won’t even happen at all.

Who likes having a war going on inside their mind anyway?
It’s a disease, a sticky situation that makes you a fly caught in
the very own web that your mind decide to spin. When you are
fired by your mind and it took over your job as the architect of
your thoughts… the mind can be a real ugly bitch sometimes,
or most days actually.

i try brainwashing myself with positive vibes, keep telling
myself all’s well but obviously, my studying progress is very
much far from well.

my speed in memorizing is still very slow and there’s still so
much to cover, so much to read or even scan through.

the days of procrastination, sleeping in and day-dreaming are over.
I need to do this for the future and to attain one’s dreams, hard
work must be put in and for my case, i need to persevere and work harder.
Don’t give up just because things are hard, Sheryl.

Keep working hard and smart, children of Earth.

x

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