finding new ways to fall apart

Hadn’t been having good dreams the past few nights. I was subconsciously sobbing in my sleep uncontrollably because of an awful dream last night. It makes me feel so dull and gloomy upon waking up in the morning. The uncertainty about the future is not helping, i find myself keep worrying and keep stressing. It’s unhealthy, i know. 

As if bad things will let me off in the day, i am hitting a new low as i struggle with my financial reporting module more and more every passing week. it doesn’t get easier and i am half submerged in the waters. Dealing with this module further justifies my dislike in accounting figures. Sigh, and i hadn’t been slacking at all. Due to the difficulty of the module, i made sure i revise and recap thrice a week. Been feeling stress and frustrated with my brain. I may not manage my stress and time as well as you, but i am learning and getting better at it.

i have berated myself a few times for not following my gut feeling to pick another module instead of this. I kept telling myself i have to find some love in the module to make myself feel a little better. Need to press on and keep the momentum going after-all, this time next year i’d be worrying something more important for sure. I will get through this. 

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2 thoughts on “finding new ways to fall apart

  1. I am studying accounting in collede and have to take depressants. But my situation is less intense than yours. This is indeed awful and late night tears are the loneliest. I am sorry, you’re suffering a lot.

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