emotions that the heart can’t handle

Things get better if you don’t think about it, things get better if you word vomit them out onto something or someone. Things get better if you think positive and stop avoiding. Things get better… blah blah blah. 

Some words are hard to speak out. Some actions are hard to perform. Some feelings are hard to convey. And perhaps it answers the question as to why some things are not meant to last. 

yuanyi’s words of comfort in the early afternoon wasn’t sufficient enough for me or rather my unsettled heart. I know it’s ok, it’s normal. But i just can’t switch off that horrible feeling inside. 

tumbling fast onto the downside again but putting on a front and deny the emotional disturbance is easier during the daytime. It’s been a rollercoaster change of emotions over the past few days, is this some ugly crying exercise my eyes marathon? 

It’s exhausting, what the heart’s feeling. The ache, the crappy feeling and all the stuff added into the pot of fear plus worry. Hello heartache, you are getting what you want.

When you don’t have any high concrete walls left, that’s when you become desperate. That’s when you grab anything around you that can be used as a temporary shield even if it’s not bulletproof. 

You are scared. Deep down you are scared of what you are actually feeling, it makes you vulnerable. When things go bad, it makes you feel so much more and also more afraid of feeling. It makes you want to turn away and escape. You know all of these all too well.

much love given to John Green

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