not anything anymore 

facing repercussions after yesterday. 

Dear Anxiety,

You need to stop giving me the chills. You need to stop attempting to drown me. You need to stop killing every little hopeful piece of me inside. You need to stop making me shut down my emotions because i could do that anytime and very quickly, it is frightening. I don’t like emotionless me at all, it’s just temporary numbing away every damage you have done. 

I know you feed on my fears, my worries , my lack of confidence and the ones that feed you healthily is my studies. It’s the easiest meal to access and filling enough to last you. If you are here to stay, then don’t go on vacation. When you go on vacation, i tend to assume you got lost or found some other vessel to feed on. I know you like being sneaky, i know it’s fun creeping up on people while their guard is completely off. But that’s not cool at all.

You have to go away, you have to. I can’t let you take over my emotions now. I am sweeping you up and You are banned from my life with effect from today.

I am still facing the aftermath of your attack last night, if it comforts you yes it will not be rid of immediately. 

I need to heal and by doing so, you have to leave. And it’s not an option. It’s mandatory that you leave. 

I will miss your attacks, but i will not miss you. It’s not the same anymore. 

x

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