Faded lines

Hello Anxiety. 

never thought it got so bad that i have to resort to consuming Alzolam today. 

I am calling you out for planning this meticulously and let it happen so abruptly. 

It’s been so long. I never thought this day would come, then again i thought you wouldn’t come back anymore. The overwhelming fear i have for my paper , you knew it. You knew this would be the perfect time. 

I am sorry. I am even more sorry for letting my guard down completely. I am sorry for foolishly fooled into thinking that you decided to leave me permanently. 

I feel bitter and so fucking frustrated. I feel like breaking things. Your sudden comeback dragged me straight to hell effortlessly. You make me scream, you make me cry. You have turned me into an ugly broken mess that i have forgotten how to walk out of right now. You make me hate and fear every single thing inside my mind. 

It’s nothing but hate, fear and worry all on full blast right now. The stress, the anxiety, the self inflicted emotional pain, wow. How united they are. 

The storm is here, a bigger one is coming isn’t it? Your ultimate goal is to bring the worse of the worse back and watch me crumble isn’t it?  

I don’t think that’s necessary. You did an incredible job already. A part of me just died because of your wonderful return. 

So fuck you very much and oh wait, fuck me very much as well. 

x

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