if i ever dreamt of myself drowning, i don’t remember.
But last night’s nightmare , i remembered.
i walked to a big pool with three friends. We jumped in, one by one.
instead of floating, i sank all the way down. I couldn’t keep my head above the surface.
i struggled, i couldn’t save myself. And i gave up.
and my mind was conscious enough to wake me up seconds after.
it hurts and i am injected with more fear and worry than i already have inside.
times like this i feel so burdensome and annoying.
times like this i will push everyone away and lock myself in my mind.
i know, i know.
can’t this girl stop feeling like this ?
i know a part of me desperately wants to shut those emotions down & ignore.
i don’t want to confront them or go to that area . I am scared of my own emotions, my mind.
it’s like opening a can of worms.
the voice in my head’s been taunting me, mocking me.
i know i am not alone this time, that however makes me more worried and scared.
two is better than one yes, but not when it comes to this.