I do not regret ending things with Kester last year , because it’s more than a lesson learnt. I feel thankful and proud of myself over these few months.
Walking out of the unhealthy brief relationship , taking full blame for its end doesn’t seem awful , it is actually better.
My feelings extinguished when i ended, my heart got hurt in the process, but i don’t resent anyone. No permanent scars, no overnight bruises.
I hope he will find his right one who can meet his expectations and standards. Some good girl who won’t hurt him like I did.
To me, he’s still someone i know, once a good friend. Much as he doesn’t want to see how i am doing, that’s his choice. If he really wants to discard this more than a decade friendship , it is fine by me too.
I will continue to keep my words, this is something i won’t salvage. I will not repair it.
I still have close friends by my side who understand and genuinely care for me.
And to the handful who thought nobody can break through my walls, that i am a lost basket case, I am sorry to tell you, you are wrong. I am no longer the same as I was last year.
I met someone better. Someone who unexpectedly broke through my concrete walls. Someone who wants me for who i am. Zero obligation, zero pressure. I don’t have to force myself to change and live up to his standards. I can be myself, comfortably.
I have grown into a better person. And this person makes me feel alive again and unlocked my box of emotions. I could receive and give love again.
I have stopped denying my own feelings and become more honest with myself.
Mark , thank you for stepping into my life ❤️.
Also,I know for every start of a relationship, there’s bound to be loss of friendships in some way.
I am still holding onto that fragment of hope that one particular important friend would return to my life.