Mirror of thoughts

I do not regret ending things with Kester last year , because it’s more than a lesson learnt. I feel thankful and proud of myself over these few months. 

Walking out of the unhealthy brief  relationship , taking full blame for its end doesn’t seem awful , it is actually better.

My feelings extinguished when i ended, my heart got hurt in the process, but i don’t resent anyone. No permanent scars, no overnight bruises. 

I hope he will find his right one who can meet his expectations and standards. Some good girl who won’t hurt him like I did. 

To me, he’s still someone i know, once a good friend. Much as he doesn’t want to see how i am doing, that’s his choice. If he really wants to discard this more than a decade friendship , it is fine by me too. 

I will continue to keep my words, this is something i won’t salvage. I will not repair it. 

I still have close friends by my side who understand and genuinely care for me.

And to the handful who thought nobody can break through my walls, that i am a lost basket case, I am sorry to tell you, you are wrong. I am no longer the same as I was last year. 

I met someone better. Someone who unexpectedly broke through my concrete walls. Someone who wants me for who i am. Zero obligation, zero pressure. I don’t have to force myself to change and live up to his standards. I can be myself, comfortably.

I have grown into a better person. And this person makes me feel alive again and unlocked my box of emotions. I could receive and give love again. 

I have stopped denying my own feelings and become more honest with myself. 

Mark , thank you for stepping into my life ❤️. 

Also,I know for every start of a relationship, there’s bound to be loss of friendships in some way. 

I am still holding onto that fragment of hope that one particular important friend would return to my life. 

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