holding it longer 

Prelims. I keep reminding myself it’s just prelims. But the lack of days for me to revise is putting me on an edge. 

I even have the intention of skipping just like i did with audit prelims last year because i was completely not prepared. But part of me don’t wish to skip it just cause i am still sick as fuck and also to know what the examiner looks for to give marks.

I am going to spend the next few days with whatever free time i’ve in my hands to revise despite still not in full recovery mode yet. 

The flu is still around and it’s freaking annoying especially when there’s phlegm. It makes me very tired and sleepy even without medication.

I know i am not spending a lot of time with Gran this week at all. I feel sorry, but i wished she could have come over after my prelims instead.

Right now i just cook her breakfast daily and out of the house i go. 

I know i am escaping from the family matters, but i can’t face it .  

It has to take a backseat, at least until prelims are over. My heart just can’t take it right now.

I will crumble, shut down and fade away. I know i am mentally not prepared to face family shit again yet.

I already have Mark❤️ and Sachi💙 and others to thank for keeping me distracted past few days. 

But i need to stand up and counter those sad thoughts in my head and face the harsh truth of reality soon. 

Spoiled three close dear ones today, can’t wait to hear all their reactions. Glad that Sachi likes the floral bouquet i got for her in return for spoiling me all the time, making me guilty. 

It makes me happy to be able to spoil my best friends once in a while, especially surprising them. Who doesn’t love surprises? I hope Mark likes it hehe. 

Much as i detest february, can time slow down a little this week, because i really need more hours to revise. 

As long i give my best and do whatever i can, that’s all that matters for prelims honestly. The real one is in May , prelims is merely an appetiser to what’s awaiting in May.

Keeping my promise to bath Gran tomorrow & massage her head in which she enjoys it so much LOL, comforting. 

Is it ok to say that he’s mine and that i am all his? Is it ok to place my new change of heart in his hands? Is it ok to say that i don’t want to let him go unless he wants me to? 

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