A blast into the past 

Me standing next to Sebas , missing Koey in the clique 😦

Sent Sebas off last night, he’s off to Brisbane for his tertiary studies. I hope he will cope well, study well, stay safe & sound & expose himself to the lovely laidback aussie culture, out of his safety net.

Glad it wasn’t as awkward as i thought and the peeps took it well. Funny how Mark’s hands are cold and mine’s sweaty. I feel burdensome for having sweaty palms, urgh. 

I look at my face, the exhaustion written on it and my size, i need to put on more weight. My appetite’s opening up a lot more these two days oddly which is a really good sign. 

I even had a few slices of pizza and a bit of spagetti for family dinner earlier, i hoped it’s enough to pull my weight up to at least 43 first step.

Met up with Sachi and Jessica last night at clarke quay, so much changes and it’s so quiet the place now. Clubs we used to go to ain’t there anymore. 

And it’s only been like two years or something? So much have changed. Neither do i have the energy nor mood to go clubbing either, i have completely passed that phase. 

Learnt about one of my primary 2 classmate and also secondary schoolmate actually had depression and committed suicide.

I was in shock, even though i was only in the same class as the person in primary 2, i still remember him as a cheeky funny boy during primary school days despite turning rebellious in his teenage days. 

And he did turned over a new leaf after having some drug issues- that was the last time i heard of him. I feel sorry and genuinely sad to learnt about the cause of his death and i really hope he’s in a better place now.

 

Life is really short , it comes and go. 

There’s so much more i want to blog about but it’s difficult for me to explain in words. 

Meanwhile, i can’t wait to occupy myself with studies. I need to drown myself in studies and shut out a lot of things.

Today, i took my meds infront of my family openly. I didn’t want to bother hiding from them the fact i have to consume so many pills in the night.

Maybe because the death of my schoolmate hit me in a way, it affects my mood the whole day that’s for sure. 

A little afraid yet a little fearless at the same time. One more day. I hope he will like what i am giving him.  

 

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