the crying episodes continues. Had a dsyfunctional family reunion dinner last night , it was too overwhelming and heart aching that it triggered an anxiety attack.
I ended up having a break down in the restaurant restroom and cover up period cramps as an excuse.
I hate how dementia changed my granny. I hate how it affected the family and caused so much changes and bring about so many issues.
If only my granny is physically strong enough, i’d book us tickets to Melbourne and leave everything behind.
I wish i could freeze all these family issues and not let it affect me, but i guess when bad things happen, they come together as a pack.
I know i have to focus on studies – prelims, piano exams and all. Family is family but i just can’t brush the pain and ache i felt just looking at how vulnerable my granny has become.
Meanwhile, i am thankful to Sebs for placing new people in my path, bringing new people into my life.
They may be new people whom i am just getting to know but i am thankful to have new people as i slowly rid of bad influence ones.
It’s painful to think about the bad ones and the tears that i’ve shed, but i mustn’t let anyone use depression and my past r/s as a form of personal attack against me anymore.
I have better friends who genuinely care and family who love me and even strangers out there who could relate better.
I don’t need toxic people who uses my weakness against me.
Despite having awful agonising crying episodes these two nights, there are people who genuinely made my day a whole better and made me felt a little more sane and loved.
And first time having lunch with a new person that stepped into my world yesterday , it’s intriguing and interesting.
The world is so small, or rather my world.