my managerial econs test was horrifying. I panicked a little and my brain went empty, took me minutes to get my head together.
The sound of fast tapping on the calculator near me escalates my stress level & i was like panicking “am i doing too slow? Is this suppose to be easy? Am i using the long way to solve?”
i caught other students around me flipping the lecture notes as though it’s an open book test. I would have flip through my notes, but i am disciplined enough (a pat on my back for that) .
Though i did help HB with her workings when she ask me, i don’t feel bad helping her. I feel useful BUT at the same time i am scared i end up teaching her the wrong thing.
Fingers crossed. The test is over, i need to stop dwelling on how badly i did.
Thursdays are the worst day of the week, so i tend to never look forward to thursdays especially.
It’s the day where my panic attacks usually happens & my mood is usually unpredictable.
But well, Sebs is dropping by tomorrow after my class ends (for valid helpful reasons) but okay, at least there’s someone i trust & comfortable with who will be by my side for a short while tomorrow.
Looking forward to the weekend, i am so drained. So far hadn’t encounter withdrawal symptoms from clomipramine yet.
Nothing make me feel genuinely happy today either. Sigh. At least no tearing today, that’s something i am thankful.
I think i am a sad walking human that gives out nothing but negativity. So unhealthy, so depressing.
Even zombies express more emotions than me, well in a way.