Chanced upon a post on Thought Catalog which i could actually relate very well to.
Depression have a comforting consoling side, no matter how much we hate battling it. It’s a form of safety net.
When you’re at the bottom, living in the darkness, there is no way it can get any worse. Happiness is a terrifying sensation because at any moment, it can be ripped away from you and send you tumbling downward. If you live under a dark cloud, you never fear the moment it will rain. It becomes a natural part of your existence. It’s an easy phenomenon to accept. The world sucks – so it goes.
There is nothing more horrible than being happy, content with life, and then suddenly spiraling down into a black hole.
When you’re sad, you don’t have to worry about an emotional roller coaster like that. There is no risk. You are down in the pits of darkness already, it becomes a part of you, it fuels you. You feel more in touch with people around you, regardless if you’ve ever been through the same thing as them. You are more sensitive, aware, yet never as vulnerable as you are when you’re happy. You are vulnerable because that happiness is threatened every single moment.
In life, you can and most positively will get hurt. It seems almost easier to go through life prepared for the blow, already in the trenches before you get buried any lower.