No, it certainly is not an excuse .
People tend to label depressive people as overthinking, they think too much, they are “emos” , they want attention, they are negative therefore see everything negative in life, etc the labels go on.
YES. Sometimes we want attention. BUT NOT the kind of attention you are thinking. We don’t want to be in the limelight, the attention we want is solely based on UNDERSTANDING.
The need of wanting people’s attention to come to understand what is depression all about and more importantly, how it triggers and impact on the person individually.
We don’t expect you to care and put us on the stage, treating us like a delicate flower. No, we are strong people. Be it depressives or any other disorders, we fight we stay affirm and we stand strong.
We want you to understand, that’s the attention we want. You think we want to be depressed / negative all the time? It’s beyond our control most of the time.
Daytime i can be laughing with my friends enjoying the moment, nighttime i can find myself wallowing in a corner in despair.
Sadness is our form of oxygen, the way our mood and emotions sync and feed on. It’s the way we people who struggle with disorders live on.
i want to be positive like many of my friends, they toss negativity as quick as garbage.
But me? I am the opposite. When positive strikes me, i run like a bat out of hell. It’s like as if positivity is a poison, it is lethal.
Had a bad episode of ugly crying last night, it accumulated after a non-crying week. I was an emotional wreckage, a total mess.
My heart hurt so much to the point where i sunk my fingernails deep into my arm, leaving marks behind.
I woke up with swelling eyes and had to get on with the day like nothing happen as usual.
I tend to feel even worse when it’s closer to Christmas. It brings up a truckload of bad memories and unhappiness.
I am prepared for a week of ugly crying and roller coaster of emotions.