Loss of body fluid 

had the worse Monday ever. I threw up upon taking breakfast, flushed out a lot of liquid & i was so weak that my Dad had to accompany me to the clinic.

From a five minutes walk became ten minutes, my Dad was worried & held onto my arm firmly, kept asking questions but i ended up not able to speak a word properly. I was having difficulty breathing & my hands were shivering and cold, clammy. 

My vision was splotchy and i thought i was gonna hit facepalm onto the pavement. 

“Is this the moment where i am going to collapse and die abruptly infront of my Dad?” I asked myself at that point.

When i reached the clinic, the doctor took my temperature it was below 36 and my blood pressure was severely low. Normal blood pressure should be about 110/70. Mine was 70/40 – loss of body fluid.

I could have been sent to the hospital if i passed out.

Next thing i know, i am being put on an iv drip. Right vein couldn’t poke through to get the saline flow in, ended up poking my left vein. It hurt for that few seconds, i had to bit my lip.

That moment my Dad had a look of concern as he patted my head. I felt like a little girl, a little sheryl who used to fall sick a lot when i was young. 

Drip. Drip . Drip. 

Fifteen minutes of silence as my Dad informed my over worried Mom who’s afraid i contacted dengue. 

But it’s probably a minor case food poisoning , or so i thought.

I ended up having fever in the late evening & missed lecture today. Well done, i should be mugging & revising for my marketing test on Friday, but i spent my Monday & Tuesday in bed thanks to all kinds of drowsy medicine i am given.

I hate anti-biotics. In addition, i still have to take my daily day and night depression pills , i am slowly developing a phobia of swallowing pills. 

Is there an IV drip available for depressives? I guess i dont mind having a drip into my vein than swallowing so much pills on a daily basis.

“If you recover you don’t need to continue the pills.” 

“There are other ways of coping with depression, not necessary having to rely on medication.” 

Well, i heard plenty of those statements. But i am sorry, medication s the only way out for me. The only best way to lie to my mind and my thoughts and to pretend it s getting better (at least to others).

To myself, i know the truth. I am far from stopping the pills permanently. It’s a long journey. Maybe till death do me and the pills apart.

I am still feeling nauseous and my appetite is equivalent to a baby’s. I need to survive through evening lecture tomorrow. Fingers crossed.



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