Never be the same 

I want to believe that I’m not wrong. I want to believe that life isn’t full of darkness. Even if storms come to pass, the sun will shine again. No matter how painful and hard the rain may beat down on me. – Fruits Basket 

Last night was one of those nights where i attempted to sleep early but ended up thinking a lot in the dark. 

I started crying in the dark. Why is this happening to me? What am i doing? I ended up dozing from crying and i jolted awake at 3+am. 

Paranoia woke me up. I couldn’t fall back to sleep after. The wheels in my mind were turning, the train of thoughts began running on its track. 

The bus journey to school wasn’t smooth again, traffic was heavy, traffic lights were turning red everytime the bus reaches.

I felt very nauseous during the bus journey. Thoughts of making a u-turn home was tempting. 

Glancing at the clock now, it’s 8:08am. Lecture starts at 8:30 and it ends 3 hours later. I can’t wait for Dad to pick me up and go home together. I don’t remember when was the last time he’d pick me up from school. 

I just want to go home and rest and hope the sickening nauseous feeling will fade away soon. I don’t have the appetite to eat even though i am feeling hungry. 

Time please pass faster.

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