skipped school on tuesday, i couldn’t lift myself out of bed. It’s just the third week of school, i know right.

I didn’t want to go school, and for a moment i even feel like missing the whole week of school just so that i can locked myself at home, away from people. 

Exhausting Wednesday i had, my brain is fried and i sighed more than i actually speak. 

I am going on a less than 4 hours of sleep for the past few nights. My eyebags are like extra baggage i carry around me. 

Something happened yesterday. 

I read plenty of japanese manga (comics) , and the first manga that i started reading was Fruits Basket (also known as Furuba). It’s a well-known story that run from 1998-2006. So yeah, i kinda grew up with the story. 

The writer release a sequel just a few weeks ago and i decided to re-read the entire Fruits Basket collection.

I don’t regret my choice of re-reading, afterall i re-read a few times past few years but i teared after re-reading this time. No, i have never tear over that manga before. 

I ended up having a case of ugly crying, i find myself connect a lot to the life lessons taught through the story. 

It made me think a lot and i don’t think this will go away for a long while. 

Below is one of the quotes mentioned in the manga.

You’re trying to find it. You’re probably trying to find- the reason that you live- all by yourself. Because…because, in reality, there aren’t any people who are born with reasons to live. I think that…that everyone has to find their reason to live. 

A reason to live. A reason to say that it’s okay to be here. A reason for being. Everyone must find out and then decide. Maybe in a dream, or in a job, or in a person. “The reason” you find might be unclear, uncertain, and unstable. Even though you may lose it, I want to have a reason for as long as I live. I also want one. And then, if it’s possible, I want to find it in somebody’s heart. I want to be able to live for someone. 

I hope that someday, someone would tell me, ‘You can think of it that way.’ At times I want to give up, but I try my best. That’s why…that’s why it’s okay, for sure, to be shameless. Because if you lead a bold life, someday you might meet someone with whom you’ll want to eat takoyaki together.



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