Reality colliding with fear

i reached school early, traffic was good and smooth. One less worry , few more to ponder. 

I forgot to wear my ring, i reminded myself like twice when i was in my bedroom and i only realised i didn’t wear it out when i reach the bus-stop. 

I wanted to turn back home and get it, but the bus was coming and the next one will make me wait for 30 minutes. So i didn’t return home.

It’s just a ring. Yes, i know to others. You just forget to wear your ring. You won’t get expell from school. No i won’t, obviously.

My mom bought that ring for me two weeks ago, to me that ring is a form of encouragement and reminder. To put it simply, it keeps me going when i m in school. 

I started fiddling with my fingers, feeling a little not right and disturbed. Like i am totally not properly equipped for the day. 

I was internally cursing myself for forgetting to wear my ring. It took me several minutes to actually toss that disturbing emptiness between my fingers to the back of my mind. 

And on the bus earlier i got teary halfway when i was lost in my thoughts. Feign with an exhausting morning yawn to mask the tears that leaked out. 

I can hardly control my thoughts outside, and now my tears could just leak out as and when i am feeling cornered by my thoughts.

Glancing at my lecturer who’s eating her yogurt (i think) before it’s time to start lecture, i wonder does she have occasional problems at home that make her don’t wish to come to school and teach a bunch of students? 

Because i have problems that make me wish i am at home. 

x

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