Rude awakening

Having sleep-maintenance insomnia.

It is the 4th time i wake up in the middle of the night, 2+am unable to go back to sleep. My mind is fully conscious of me tossing and turning trying to fall back into sleep. 

After many toss and turns, i gave up and stared outside my window, stoned. 

It’s starting again, the pattern. Slowly falling back into that familiar haunting pattern. 

Thoughts are noisy, they invade my mind and heart. They are taking over my sleep.

I find myself worrying now about simple things like , will i get stuck in a traffic jam and be late for lecture later? Will i be able to answer a question raised by my lecturer if i am chosen later? Will i suffer abdominal pain during the long bus journey? Will i be able to get home in time to visit the doc regarding my abdominal pain ? 

I am trying to relax and not worry easily but my mind has its way of making my anxiety difficult for me. 

I hope time will pass faster today, so i will quickly return back home, away from people. With just me and my own demons gather together.

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