Hi Famotidine and Atarax. They are my old friends and now we are reunited once again.
Yes more pills to take, i don’t know how much longer can my body handle.
i slept before 11pm last night, and next thing, i was up at 2:20 am. I jolt awake from a dream i couldn’t remember and i laid awake till 5am before i get up to shower for school.
My thoughts kept me awake the whole night. They were loud, raw and they cut me deep.
Feeling vulnerable , struggling to keep things going as per normal , afloat. The anxiety gets in my way , the slightest thing could just make me worry an entire day.
I find myself detached from conversations this week. I will talk halfway and then occupy myself with something else that can allow me to disengage from the conversation.
I can be laughing at your joke while thinking a truckload about something that can set my anxiety and thoughts on fire.
It’s what my demons always do to me.
I was taking down notes during my marketing lecture this morning and half way through, i froze for a second.
Having the urge of wanting to tear, i forced the tears back down, it was like compressing air out of a vacuum bag.
I cannot have an episode in the lecture theatre. I can’t let this happen in school.
I kept reminding myself and I sunk my fingernails deep into my palm, the pain manage to pull me away.
Depression and anxiety can be fatal, a voice inside my head said.
That statement has already been proven one too many times, i know.
I just can’t help thinking , i am going to be one of the many who will die because of it.
It’s easier to pretend everything’s fine than to admit nothing is fine.