a violent windstorm .

words of describing what’s going on in my mind. 

Kickstart year three today, i was consumed with exhaustion and abdominal pain.

I sat at the bus-stop for almost 20 minutes, thinking if i should u-turn and crawl back into my bed to nurse the pain. 

It wasn’t stomache or period cramps. It was like pain, just pain. Gastric? Stress? Well…maybe. 

The tabs are not exactly working….. 

I reached campus half an hour later than i should, made it through the three hour lecture without complaining. 

I find myself questioning if i care too much, if i take things to heart a little too much . I should care less or perhaps don’t even care at all.

It’s frustrating. It’s confusing. It makes me stupidly upset and ridiculously angry at the same time, at every little thing. 

Am i being too soft? Or am i being vulnerably stupid ? Or have i became weak overtime? 

It’s clouding my mind , it’s making me wish i could just leave the problems all here and die. 

Waiting to die, waiting for death to claim me. 

I hope my stoic mask tomorrow will take me through the day. 



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