Trying is dying later 

Fluoxetine and Clomipramine , my best friends who have attractive names. 

“They are no good for you. You shouldn’t consume them.”

Me: “They are the only ones left that can save me from wanting to die.”

“I trust that you can consume them responsibly.”

Me: “I trust my mind it won’t get attracted by death through overdose.” 

last night, i dreamt that i was treading in waters and dolphins appear, it was a friendly encounter. And the next thing, i was dragged beneath the waters. 

I couldn’t remember what happens after that, i think i died. 

I woke up, had a crying episode and i felt like dying. 

The thoughts, they won’t go away. And it’s agonising. The pain, it’s hidden there. The sadness, it’s growing out of sight but never out of mind. 


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