the stray dog that loitered around the area for days has returned tonight, after disappearing for weeks. I thought it died or something.

I am glad it’s still alive but i fear for its life.
The danger it’s being expose to, how long can it survive?

I pray it will find its way to the nearby coffee shophouse, uncles and aunties be kind enough to feed it at least leftover meat and some water.

God bless it, the stray dog around the area,
I wish you have a name that I will know and remember.

Meanwhile, i have been escaping & lying to myself for days. i am doing my best to not think about it, to not get affected.

I just want to take down the facade.

I am so damn scared. Very much more afraid each passing day. I have zero confidence. I wish i could escape it all. I am terrified of the outcome, what if it all happens and i can’t take the hit?

Right now, i am envisioning myself holding a gun to my head, unsure whether it’s loaded with blanks or bullets.

All it takes is to pull the trigger.



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